Friends mean well, even when they hurt you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder–watch out! Proverbs 27:6 Good News Translation
“Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see in their soul.” (Author Unknown).
Contrary to popular opinion, intimacy is more than just sex. It requires getting to know each other deeply. It is being vulnerable with each other or as Bishop TD Jakes puts it, “in-to-me-see.” It is the time that you and your spouse choose to be transparent and honest with each other despite the fear you may feel about letting it all show. For some, it is easier to bare all in the bedroom rather than baring their soul, but to experience a deeper connection in marriage it takes having those tough conversations. It is the heart to heart conversations that may bring about tears. It often takes lovingly, hurting each other’s feelings, to ensure the relationship is saved.
In our twenty plus years of marriage my husband and I have noticed the most growth in our relationship during the times we had to have those tough conversations. Hiding the deep concerns, fears, and not attending to the issues that are festering in your relationship can destroy true intimacy. According to Dave Willis of Stronger Marriages, “Secrecy is the enemy to intimacy. Every healthy relationship is built on a foundation of honesty and trust.”
To experience true intimacy, we must first begin by being honest with ourselves, with God and with each other. My challenge to each couple this Valentine’s Day is to move past every hindrance that so easily besets you and your relationship. Many are plagued with heart issues from the past that have hindered you from connecting totally with God and your spouse. It’s time to deal with the pain of your past. Trust God to heal your heart and restore the damage that has been done as you approach the issue.
Let’s Pray….Daddy God, I come to you on behalf of my brothers and sisters that are experiencing difficulties in their relationships right now. I ask that You grant them the grace to deal with the tough issues they have been facing. I pray that you will surround them with the support and the encouragement that they need as they begin to have the tough conversations and move forward towards healing. Surround them with Your love. Teach them to love like You love. Minister to the pain that they have experienced over the years and help them to forgive. I pray that You will make their relationship a trophy of Your grace. In Jesus name, Amen.
Go Deeper: Seek out a marriage mentoring couple to help guide you through the challenging times in your relationship. In doing so, make sure that it is a Godly couple that you can trust and that has your best interest in heart.
Grace and Peace,
Mary ~ Your Breakthrough Coach
© Mary Pinckney, February 2018