Intimacy starts here..


Friends mean well, even when they hurt you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder–watch out! Proverbs 27:6 Good News Translation


Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see in their soul. Author Unknown

Contrary to popular opinion, intimacy is more than just sex. It requires getting to know each other deeply. It is being vulnerable with each other or as Bishop TD Jakes puts it, “in-to-me-see.” It is the time that you and your spouse choose to be transparent and honest with each other despite the fear you may feel about letting it all show. For some, it is easier to bare all in the bedroom rather than baring their soul, but to experience a deeper connection in marriage it takes having those tough conversations. It is the heart to heart conversations that may bring about tears. It often takes lovingly, hurting each other’s feelings, to ensure the relationship is saved.

In our twenty plus years of marriage my husband and I have noticed the most growth in our relationship during the times we had to have those tough conversations. Hiding the deep concerns, fears, and not attending to the issues that are festering in your relationship can destroy true intimacy. According to Dave Willis of Stronger Marriages, “Secrecy is the enemy to intimacy. Every healthy relationship is built on a foundation of honesty and trust.”

To experience true intimacy, we must first begin by being honest with ourselves, with God and with each other. My challenge to you today is to move past every hindrance that so easily besets you and your relationship. Many are plagued with heart issues from the past that have hindered you from connecting totally with God and your spouse. It’s time to deal with the pain of your past. Trust God to heal your heart and restore the damage that has been done as you approach the issue.

Daddy God, I come to you on behalf of my brothers and sisters that are experiencing difficulties in their relationships right now. I ask that You grant them the grace to deal with the tough issues they have been facing. I pray that you will surround them with the support and the encouragement that they need as they begin to have the tough conversations and move forward towards healing. Surround them with Your love. Teach them to love like You love. Minister to the pain that they have experienced over the years and help them to forgive. I pray that You will make their relationship a trophy of Your grace. In Jesus name, Amen.

Go Deeper: Seek out a marriage mentoring couple to help guide you through the challenging times in your relationship. In doing so, make sure that it is a Godly couple that you can trust and that has your best interest in heart.

Blessings to you,

Mary ~ Your Breakthrough Coach

© Mary Pinckney  2018


Why Can’t We All Just Get Along!!



Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.

Romans 12:16 (AMP)  


Relationships are tough to be in at times, but not impossible to master. When I speak of relationships, I am not just referring to marital relationships but all relationships. We all have many relationships in our lives. In every one of these relationships we must learn to relate to each other.

It is hard being in relationships in which you feel mistreated. However, God has made it possible to do the impossible even when we are in a difficult place. One important lesson the Holy Spirit taught me years ago, was to seek peace and pursue it. In order to do that, it took work on my part. Our reference scripture today is one I had to keep close to my heart.

In relationships, we should always aim at living in harmony with each other. In order to do that, we each must readily adjust ourselves to people and situations. This is not always easy to do, but the grace of God is available to help us. Oftentimes we don’t take the time to process why challenges come in relationships. We are too quick to judge. We should never judge by what we see or hear for that matter. We must take the time to find out the root of the issues we are dealing with. Some situations are simply a misunderstanding.

 On another note, selfishness has no place in healthy relationships. Harmony will come when we begin to put others above ourselves. This is one of the characteristics of Jesus. The Bible is filled with many examples teaching us how to handle our relationships. It is important for us to learn from the best Teacher; the Holy Spirit. It is impossible for us to love the Lord, whom we can’t see, and not love those that are with us daily.

 Father, I pray for those that are struggling in their relationships. I pray that we will begin to rely on the grace you have already provided to help us in our times of need. Minister to our hearts today and allow us to see truth in every situation. Teach us how to love like you love, Father.

Grace and Peace,


© Mary Pinckney, 2013

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Who’s In Your Inner Circle?




And when He had gone in, He said to them, why do you make an uproar and weep? The little girl is not dead but is sleeping. 40And they laughed and jeered at Him. But He put them all out, and, taking the child’s father and mother and those who were with Him, He went in where the little girl was lying…          Mark 5:39-40 (AMP)


 In the above scripture, we find Jesus performing a miracle for Jairus.  Jairus sought Jesus out when his daughter fell sick. He believed the reports he heard about Jesus. He even witnessed His healing power on his way home, as Jesus healed the woman with the issue of blood.  When they returned, the house was filled with unbelievers.   Jesus put them all out and proceeded in restoring the young girl’s health.

We can take notes from Jesus’ actions.  Each of us needs to take inventory of our lives.  Be observant.  We need to know who we are connected to.  Everybody is not linked to our destiny. It is said, if you want to know what type of person you are, look at the people you hang with the most. 1 Corinthians 15:33 lets us know that bad company corrupts good manners.  You may be on a path for purpose, headed in the right direction.  You may be seeking God to restore your marriage. You may be praying for physical healing. Whatever the case, don’t allow yourself to be side tracked by naysayers and unbelievers. If you are seeking a miracle, you have to create an atmosphere for it. 

It is time to clean house.  First, do away with the doubt and fear within you. Then guard your heart with all diligence.  It is so important to protect the gateways to your heart.  Be careful what you watch, listen to and even say.  Next, begin to ask the Lord to show you who is to accompany you on your journey.  You need to be surrounded with like-minded people. He will open your eyes to see who has your best interest at heart.  I am a witness, it helps to have faith-filled believers praying for you and encouraging you along the way. 

My prayer for you today is that God will open the eyes of your understanding so you may see every hindrance to His power working fully in your life. May you be observant and quick to notice the distractions that come your way. 


  (c) Mary Pinckney, August 2013 excerpt from Be Attitudes: A Devotional Journey to a Healthier Happier You