We all need somebody 


When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13 NLT

I used to feel like a prisoner locked inside my own world not knowing how to escape. Have you been here? Have you noticed that it is hard to talk to others around you about you? I consider myself a very private person. It was always hard for me to open up and share with others how I was really doing.

Over the years I have seen so many people betrayed because they shared intimate details about their lives with others they felt could be trusted. I knew at that point I didn’t want to be in that place having to suffer the embarrassment and the pain they experienced. Out of my own need God birthed a desire in me to become a safe place for others to heal.

We all need someone. We all need an outlet. We were never meant to be an island isolated from everyone else. It was never God’s plan for man to be alone. It is so freeing to be able to know that we have people in our corner that are genuinely concerned about us and our well-being. If you find yourself where I once was, ask God to lead you to the person you can be open with. Someone that has His heart for you. It may be a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor. Once you begin getting the help you need, will you also consider becoming a safe place for others to lean?

Lord, I often find myself drifting back into isolation out of fear of being hurt again. I ask that you lead me to the safe place of healing that is available for me. I ask that you teach me who to trust with my innermost thoughts. I pray that even as You heal me that I too will become a safe place for others to heal.

Dig Deeper: Make a list of people you know that you consider a safe place. Then pray and ask God to lead you to who maybe the best for you to open your heart to. As you begin to sort through all of this, journaling is another form of unloading our hearts.

Grace and Peace,

Your Breakthrough Coach~ Challenging Your Perspective On Life, Love, and Relationships 


© Mary Pinckney, July 2017


Let’s be real for a moment 


Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part [of my heart] You will make me know wisdom. PSALM 51:6 AMP

​How often have we been here? 

When we finally begin to be who we were called to be. When we finally start embracing ourselves,  flaws and all and let go of the masks we have worn for years people will begin to think we have changed.  The truth is we were never the person we portrayed. 

We must get comfortable with who we are. We must allow God to heal us from the fear of rejection and abandonment issues so that we can walk in freedom to serve Him and mankind in our own true design. The world is waiting on the REAL YOU to stand up!!

Go Deeper : What masks are you hiding behind?

Father help us to remove the masks we have hidden behind for years so that we can experience authentic relationships. In Jesus name Amen 

Grace and Peace, 

Your Breakthrough Coach ~Challenging your perspective on Life, Love, and Relationships 


(C) Mary Pinckney,  May 2017

For the Love of God!


​Some of the best conversations with God start out as complaints. What I love about God is that He allows us to share our disappointments, our heartaches, our offenses with Him. After all, He already knows.  This is true intimacy. When you
can bring your pain to the person you feel hurt you and be open and honest about it knowing that He has your best interest at heart; that’s love. Most relationships struggle because there is no real intimacy. We tend to hide our true feelings. We fail to be
honest about what is really going on inside of us. When you have a relationship that is grounded in trust and a deep love for each other it produces a freedom that can’t be described.

I believed David best described this relationship in Psalm 32:5 when He says, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to
the Lord [continually unfolding the past till all is told]—then You [instantly] forgave me the guilt and iniquity of my sin.!
(Amplified Bible)   David knew He sinned before God. He knew His actions were not in line with what God
had already communicated in His Word to us, but He found no fear in sharing what He did.

Today, your sin before God may have been through mere words, or wrong thoughts, or like me, you threw a temper tantrum like a two year old because you couldn’t have your way. Wherever you find yourself today, I challenge
you not to turn away from His love.  We don’t always understand everything God is doing in our lives. We don’t always like the paths He leads us to. We don’t always like the assignments He may have given us but one thing is certain; He loves us with an everlasting
love.  God always has our best interest at heart even when we don’t understand.

God, I want to trust You in the seasons of uncertainty in my life but I find it more and more difficult at times. Help me to be reminded of Your track record in my life. Help me to understand You and Your ways even when
I don’t trust Your acts. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid to talk to You about any part of my life, in fact You welcome the fellowship.  Thank You for loving me so much, Daddy.

Journaling Assignment: Are you offended by what God is doing or not doing in your life? Apply your ear to His heart and listen as He speaks to you.

Grace and Peace,



Breakthrough Coach ~ Challenging Your perspectives on Life, Love, and Relationships


© Mary Pinckney, March 2017


God Has a Plan



My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will [not what I desire], but as You will and desire. Matthew 26:39b (AMPC)

It is not always easy to understand the will of our Father, but it is imperative that we choose to follow His lead. I have come to understand that He knows best. We don’t have to know all the details. It is up to us to TRUST His heart concerning us.

So, today, I encourage you not to lose hope in the midst of the pain you may be feeling right now. God has a plan. His plan is not always understood but it will be revealed. You may not know what tomorrow holds, but follow His voice as He leads you step by step to the next place He has for you. He is a God of purpose. He uses the good, the bad and the ugly to work together for our good. Trust Him.

Father, it is so hard for us to understand Your will at times. We know what we desire to happen, but that is not always what You desire. Teach us Father to submit our will to Yours. Teach us to trust Your heart for us. Teach us not only to know Your ways but to know  Your character. Teach us to find our peace and assurance in Your love for us. May we come to understand that Your plans are to give us an expected end and a hope. Let Your will be done in our lives Lord. In Jesus name Amen.

Grace and Peace,


Breaking you through to a better you – http://www.vflconsultants.com

© Mary Pinckney, October 2016


Speak Life


“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)



Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Do you remember this old adage? It would often be heard on a schoolhouse playground as children were teasing each other, pretending not to be bothered by the insults that came their way.

But our pretending doesn’t end with childhood; as adults, we try to convince ourselves that the sting of sharp words does not affect us. The truth is, we are deeply wounded by the verbal abuse we encounter on a daily basis. And we’re not immune to being abusers ourselves. As we interact with others, we must choose daily whether we will use our words to bring hurt or healing.

James summed it up best by saying that we need to be slow to speak, quick to hear, and slow to get angry. As born again believers, the nature of God should help govern our hearts and minds. It is up to us to choose words that are not offensive to God and our neighbors.

My challenge to you today is to begin to focus on what is going on in your heart. The Scriptures tell us that out of the abundance of the heart, our mouth speaks. Have you paid much attention to this connection?  If you are housing bitterness, anger, or resentment, you are sure to spew out poison towards others that cross your path. Our words can either heal or destroy relationships. It is up to us to determine the outcome we desire.

Father, forgive us for not always paying attention to the words we speak. May we allow You to create within us a clean heart and renew within us a right spirit. Let the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in Your sight, oh Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Take Action

Have the closest people in your circle do a brief evaluation of the words that you speak. Allow them to be truthful with you to determine if there is an adjustment needed.

Grace and Peace,


Breakthrough Coach

Breaking you through to a better you.



© Mary Pinckney, August 2016

Have you had a checkup lately?


proverbs 423

Disagreements are common in relationships. So are hurt feelings. It is our job to prepare our hearts ahead of time for these moments. Always allowing room for errors. Always being quick to forgive. However, the question remains, how do you genuinely show love when you have been hurt by someone’s actions? It is so easy to become offended and allow bitterness to set in.

Bitterness grows out of our refusal to let go. It is the complete resistance and unwillingness to let go of the injury or wound caused by someone’s words or actions. It is constantly being hurt by a memory and holding on to the hurt until it has a complete grip upon you. Bitterness is often categorized by unforgiveness.

Once the root of bitterness sets in, it begins to rob us of our peace. It affects our decision making. It spreads throughout our entire being and begins to corrupt every area of our lives. It is often displayed in jealousy, anger, dissatisfaction, and division. It can only be dispelled by love. If you have been dealing with the root of bitterness, you can be free. There is hope for you just as it was for me. It starts with a choice. Choose to let it go.

It is not right for us to hang other people’s mistakes, sins, or ill spoken words over their heads. This is a lesson the Holy Spirit began to minister to my heart a long time ago. It all started with this scripture in 1 Timothy 1:5 (NASB) But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.   You see love does not keep an account of the wrong done to it. It does not keep bringing it up in times of disagreements. This is not forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the wrong suffered and trusting the Lord to bring healing to our hearts. It is His desire that we keep our hearts tender so that we may receive from Him.

Too often, we look to the one that hurt us to make everything right and to make up for what was done. This is not realistic. They can never repay or repair the damage we have experienced. Only the Lord can mend our brokenness and bind up our wounds.  Matthew 6:14-15 in the Amplified Bible paints a perfect picture of our responsibility in times like these:   For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.

We often say we forgive, but do we?  If we did, why is it still an issue?  I believe many of us still struggle with the area of forgiveness because we never seek healing of the wounds that were caused.  We never let go of the resentment.  Resentment is a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.  It is normally expressed through annoyance, anger, or bitterness.  According to Hebrews 12:15 when bitterness comes in it begins to take root and springs up to cause trouble, hurting many of us in our spiritual lives.  Yes bitterness, unforgiveness, and offense are blessing blockers. They are traps from the enemy that keep us entangled so that we will not walk in God’s best. Most of all these issues of the heart keep us from receiving the very forgiveness we often stand in need of.

In order for us to move forward we must let it all go. The wounds that we experienced can be healed if we allow them to be dealt with in prayer. We must begin by being completely honest about the pain we feel and take actions to move past it. It begins with recognizing it is not about how we feel. It is about facing the truth and accepting our responsibility found in the Word of God. Feelings are unstable and can move you away from unity.  Don’t allow your feelings to get in the way of you making healthy choices in your relationships.  It is never good to make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

The enemy comes to divide and conquer, to bring separation.  We must be vigilant at all times, recognizing the greater scheme in Satan’s plans. What we are facing is much greater than how we feel at that moment. The moment he can divide us, he gains ground.   There is power in agreement. There is strength in unity.  The truth is the enemy desires to bring division to the Body of Christ. That division can begin in our homes, on our jobs, or even in our churches. He will often misrepresent the actions of others to make it appear harsh and critical. It is then our responsibility to take a step back and examine every action through the Truth giving Spirit; the Holy Spirit is that Spirit. He searches the deep things. He knows the hearts and the motives involved. Take a moment and ask Him to reveal the truth about your situation. Always keep your mind set on what is true as it states here in Philippians 4:8 (GW) Finally, brothers and sisters, keep your thoughts on whatever is right or deserves praise: things that are true, honorable, fair, pure, acceptable, or commendable. When we keep our minds set on the truth from God’s word we are cleansing our hearts.  It begins to show up those dark hidden areas that go against the Word of God.

Make a choice today to no longer allow bitterness to consume your life nor steal from your relationships. Practice putting the Word of God to work in your lives. Overcome evil with good. Be kind. Be compassionate and forgive. Forgiveness is a must. We can’t keep holding on to what happened and receive the best from God. In order for us to receive forgiveness we must first forgive.  I now leave you with this wisdom from Paul in the book of Ephesians 4:1-3 (MSG) In light of all this, here’s what I want you to do. While I’m locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. In life and in love we will experience hurt but it is up to us to champion over it and continue walking in the love of God.

Grace and Peace,

Mary Pinckney

© Mary Pinckney 2014

Books can be purchased at http://www.vflconsultants.com

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