Intimacy starts here..

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Friends mean well, even when they hurt you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder–watch out! Proverbs 27:6 Good News Translation

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Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see in their soul. Author Unknown

Contrary to popular opinion, intimacy is more than just sex. It requires getting to know each other deeply. It is being vulnerable with each other or as Bishop TD Jakes puts it, “in-to-me-see.” It is the time that you and your spouse choose to be transparent and honest with each other despite the fear you may feel about letting it all show. For some, it is easier to bare all in the bedroom rather than baring their soul, but to experience a deeper connection in marriage it takes having those tough conversations. It is the heart to heart conversations that may bring about tears. It often takes lovingly, hurting each other’s feelings, to ensure the relationship is saved.

In our twenty plus years of marriage my husband and I have noticed the most growth in our relationship during the times we had to have those tough conversations. Hiding the deep concerns, fears, and not attending to the issues that are festering in your relationship can destroy true intimacy. According to Dave Willis of Stronger Marriages, “Secrecy is the enemy to intimacy. Every healthy relationship is built on a foundation of honesty and trust.”

To experience true intimacy, we must first begin by being honest with ourselves, with God and with each other. My challenge to you today is to move past every hindrance that so easily besets you and your relationship. Many are plagued with heart issues from the past that have hindered you from connecting totally with God and your spouse. It’s time to deal with the pain of your past. Trust God to heal your heart and restore the damage that has been done as you approach the issue.

Daddy God, I come to you on behalf of my brothers and sisters that are experiencing difficulties in their relationships right now. I ask that You grant them the grace to deal with the tough issues they have been facing. I pray that you will surround them with the support and the encouragement that they need as they begin to have the tough conversations and move forward towards healing. Surround them with Your love. Teach them to love like You love. Minister to the pain that they have experienced over the years and help them to forgive. I pray that You will make their relationship a trophy of Your grace. In Jesus name, Amen.

Go Deeper: Seek out a marriage mentoring couple to help guide you through the challenging times in your relationship. In doing so, make sure that it is a Godly couple that you can trust and that has your best interest in heart.

Blessings to you,

Mary ~ Your Breakthrough Coach

© Mary Pinckney  2018

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It’s Not Just About Sunday

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How can I stand in a corporate setting and say, “God I love you, God I need you, you’re my everything…Oh but I haven’t even opened your Word, or spent time communing with you this week?” We cannot begin to adore (worship) a God and bring Him praise when we haven’t begun to know Him. Debra Black

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As, I read this statement it reminded me of the time when I thought reading the Bible and worshipping God was just for Sunday. Growing up Sundays were all about going to church. I didn’t understand why at the time, I just knew it was the thing to do.

Now, that I am older and know better I understand that worship is more about having an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. It’s not about rules and serving an angry God; it is about getting to know and love the God that created us, the God that loves us and gave His Only Son for us.   To worship God, we must make sure we are spending adequate time with Him to strengthen our relationship.  This can’t happen with just a Sunday mentality.  We must make time with Him a priority every day. Worship is a lifestyle and cultivating intimacy happens through relationship not religion. When we function under the “Sunday only mentality” it stunts the growth of our faith. It is hard for us to trust a God that we don’t know.

God desires to commune with you daily. He is standing at the door of your heart knocking. As scriptures say, today if you hear His voice harden not your heart. Invite Him in to commune with you.  Allow Him to sit with you and share the secrets of His heart. Cultivate that intimate relationship with Him that allows you to walk boldly and confidently in your faith.  He is waiting on you.

Let this cry from David become the cry of your heart today; Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart. Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. Give me an eagerness for your laws rather than a love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things and give me life through your word. Psalms 119:34-37 NLT

Father, draw us closer to you each day. Let your Word be the food and drink we desire daily. Let your presence become our place of comfort. In Jesus name, Amen.

 Grace and Peace to you,

Mary

Your Breakthrough Coach

© Mary Pinckney, March 2018

We all need somebody 

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When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13 NLT

I used to feel like a prisoner locked inside my own world not knowing how to escape. Have you been here? Have you noticed that it is hard to talk to others around you about you? I consider myself a very private person. It was always hard for me to open up and share with others how I was really doing.

Over the years I have seen so many people betrayed because they shared intimate details about their lives with others they felt could be trusted. I knew at that point I didn’t want to be in that place having to suffer the embarrassment and the pain they experienced. Out of my own need God birthed a desire in me to become a safe place for others to heal.

We all need someone. We all need an outlet. We were never meant to be an island isolated from everyone else. It was never God’s plan for man to be alone. It is so freeing to be able to know that we have people in our corner that are genuinely concerned about us and our well-being. If you find yourself where I once was, ask God to lead you to the person you can be open with. Someone that has His heart for you. It may be a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor. Once you begin getting the help you need, will you also consider becoming a safe place for others to lean?

Lord, I often find myself drifting back into isolation out of fear of being hurt again. I ask that you lead me to the safe place of healing that is available for me. I ask that you teach me who to trust with my innermost thoughts. I pray that even as You heal me that I too will become a safe place for others to heal.

Dig Deeper: Make a list of people you know that you consider a safe place. Then pray and ask God to lead you to who maybe the best for you to open your heart to. As you begin to sort through all of this, journaling is another form of unloading our hearts.

Grace and Peace,
Mary 

Your Breakthrough Coach~ Challenging Your Perspective On Life, Love, and Relationships 

http://www.vflconsultants.com

© Mary Pinckney, July 2017

Let’s be real for a moment 

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Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part [of my heart] You will make me know wisdom. PSALM 51:6 AMP

​How often have we been here? 

When we finally begin to be who we were called to be. When we finally start embracing ourselves,  flaws and all and let go of the masks we have worn for years people will begin to think we have changed.  The truth is we were never the person we portrayed. 

We must get comfortable with who we are. We must allow God to heal us from the fear of rejection and abandonment issues so that we can walk in freedom to serve Him and mankind in our own true design. The world is waiting on the REAL YOU to stand up!!

Go Deeper : What masks are you hiding behind?

Father help us to remove the masks we have hidden behind for years so that we can experience authentic relationships. In Jesus name Amen 

Grace and Peace, 
Mary

Your Breakthrough Coach ~Challenging your perspective on Life, Love, and Relationships 

http://www.vflconsultants.com 

(C) Mary Pinckney,  May 2017

For the Love of God!

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​Some of the best conversations with God start out as complaints. What I love about God is that He allows us to share our disappointments, our heartaches, our offenses with Him. After all, He already knows.  This is true intimacy. When you
can bring your pain to the person you feel hurt you and be open and honest about it knowing that He has your best interest at heart; that’s love. Most relationships struggle because there is no real intimacy. We tend to hide our true feelings. We fail to be
honest about what is really going on inside of us. When you have a relationship that is grounded in trust and a deep love for each other it produces a freedom that can’t be described.

I believed David best described this relationship in Psalm 32:5 when He says, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to
the Lord [continually unfolding the past till all is told]—then You [instantly] forgave me the guilt and iniquity of my sin.!
(Amplified Bible)   David knew He sinned before God. He knew His actions were not in line with what God
had already communicated in His Word to us, but He found no fear in sharing what He did.

Today, your sin before God may have been through mere words, or wrong thoughts, or like me, you threw a temper tantrum like a two year old because you couldn’t have your way. Wherever you find yourself today, I challenge
you not to turn away from His love.  We don’t always understand everything God is doing in our lives. We don’t always like the paths He leads us to. We don’t always like the assignments He may have given us but one thing is certain; He loves us with an everlasting
love.  God always has our best interest at heart even when we don’t understand.

God, I want to trust You in the seasons of uncertainty in my life but I find it more and more difficult at times. Help me to be reminded of Your track record in my life. Help me to understand You and Your ways even when
I don’t trust Your acts. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid to talk to You about any part of my life, in fact You welcome the fellowship.  Thank You for loving me so much, Daddy.

Journaling Assignment: Are you offended by what God is doing or not doing in your life? Apply your ear to His heart and listen as He speaks to you.

Grace and Peace,

 

Mary

Breakthrough Coach ~ Challenging Your perspectives on Life, Love, and Relationships

www.vflconsultants.com

© Mary Pinckney, March 2017

 

God Has a Plan

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My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will [not what I desire], but as You will and desire. Matthew 26:39b (AMPC)

It is not always easy to understand the will of our Father, but it is imperative that we choose to follow His lead. I have come to understand that He knows best. We don’t have to know all the details. It is up to us to TRUST His heart concerning us.

So, today, I encourage you not to lose hope in the midst of the pain you may be feeling right now. God has a plan. His plan is not always understood but it will be revealed. You may not know what tomorrow holds, but follow His voice as He leads you step by step to the next place He has for you. He is a God of purpose. He uses the good, the bad and the ugly to work together for our good. Trust Him.

Father, it is so hard for us to understand Your will at times. We know what we desire to happen, but that is not always what You desire. Teach us Father to submit our will to Yours. Teach us to trust Your heart for us. Teach us not only to know Your ways but to know  Your character. Teach us to find our peace and assurance in Your love for us. May we come to understand that Your plans are to give us an expected end and a hope. Let Your will be done in our lives Lord. In Jesus name Amen.

Grace and Peace,

Mary

Breaking you through to a better you – http://www.vflconsultants.com

© Mary Pinckney, October 2016